Saturday, July 29, 2006

My Raible Vacation - Calgary Concert

At last we arrived in a civilized place! Calgary, the most cultured place in all of Alberta, which is kind of like saying the most woman-friendly tavern in Madinah.

So we decided immediately to do the most cultured thing we could find. Now this is Calgary so ballet, opera, symphonies and theater are pretty much out of the question, so we did the next best thing, we went to a KISS concert.

After the show, we went backstage. We found Gene Simmons there and he was hanging out with Howard Schultz and Ariel Sharon. They all seemed to be getting along well and kept switching from English to Yiddish in mid-sentence.

Gene asked everyone if they were interested in a KISS merchandise license. Just 10K to put the KISS logo on a labia ring and sell them online. Not a bad deal really, I'll think about it, I might be able to make some money on that.

I started to get angry at Howard Schultz (which isn't hard), because he was bragging about 'fleecing the Emerald City'. So I decided to get violent, but then I realized Schultz was surrounded by a gaggle of high-priced lawyers, so feeling intimidated I beat up Tommy Thayer instead.

Well the police came and took me away. They mumbled something about "Soccer Riot Snazel", but of course the Canadian justice system is a joke, so my sentence was to receive free medication and a formal apology from the Ministry of Tourism. Apparently, they felt their country must have done something wrong to make such a nice American tourist such as myself to act that way. I used the free medication to get hold of some Codeine and Xanax. I figure they'll make a nifty cocktail with Tequila if Phil and Bobby get on my nerves.

Here's a snapshot of the concert, pretty crazy. You can click the image or you can click here instead to see a larger version of the photo.

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