Saturday, April 22, 2006


So it’s time for me to write something...

I have so much to say I don’t even know where to begin, let me boil it down to some sort of stinkin’ office memo, in the name of efficiency let’s just craft it like some sort of inter-office memo.

1. Thank you all of you who raised concern about my last self-loathing post. It’s amazing what people who crawl out of the crannies when you claim you are unhappy. Thank you all and believe me, while I have moments of self doubt, I am overall doing just fine, and thank you all for asking.

2. Seahawk Kinship – Yes American Football is incredible. Yes, Seattle deserves a Super Bowl – and more. My favorite people on Earth live here. This is a city that quite simply is beautiful, not just physically, but beautiful artistically and spiritually.

3. Yes, I like to drink beer. Yes, I like to watch sports. You got a problem with that? If so, then good for you, none the less, beer and sports still serve me better than the New Testament. Put that in your Ann Coulter pipe and smoke it.

4. The Montreal Canadiens are about as close to human perfection as you can get. The sole exceptions I can think of are Macbeth, To Kill a Mockingbird and Gary Gygax.

5. You try collating multiple MSI and IHC genetic tests, from multiple labs across several genetic markers and then tell me I’m insane. Do that first before you ever fucking judge me and my ridiculous blog.

6. Oblivion is way fucking over rated. In my opinion, it’s more about hardware elitism and RPG snobbery than anything that resembles real entertainment. It runs on my machine fine. It's boring as hell.

7. The NBA has become a joke. Where are the ambassadors to the game? Am I really supposed to buy that Carmelo is on parallel with Kareem, Magic, Charles and Mike? No fucking way, the NBA right now is selfish, elitist and way too fucking expensive. It’s the sport of the upper-middle class, it’s the American version of Cricket. Fuck the NBA, it is totally fucking cheese. It is out of reach and totally out of tune with the average American.

8. Somebody took my cheesy ass lyrics and made a real rap song out of it. Holy shit, my cranky uneducated ass actually inspired someone to make art. Here it is… Check it out. Yes, those are my cheesy lyrics applied to real music and craft. My thanks to my life-remixed kindred spirit that produced this it totally made my week.

9. Steve Raible Baseball is dead. Yet instead some fucking ridiculous clown-like board game squanders millions. Wizards of the Coast is THE dumbest fucking dumb-ass company I have ever worked for.

10. England won World War II. Yeah sure America provided the tanks and the people. Yes, America’s significant contribution should never be denied. But the spirit of World War II, was embedded deep in the fire bombs that landed in London. That glorious country survived the nightmare and provided the launching pad that eventually ensured that democracy would dominate the rest of the 20th century.

11. Russia is fucked up and anyone who thinks the Cold War is over has not been paying attention.

12. No, I am not some sort of right wing bitch. I am not a clown who waves flags. China and Russia are fucked, period. America is superior to them both. I say that not because I am an overly-patriotic reactionary. I say that because America invented Jazz, put men on the moon and lead the vast majority of scientific fields.

It does so, because at this stage of time, it is a superior fucking country that treats its people with more respect than any other super power in human history. Yeah, I like Canada too and the UK, but let’s face it, neither of those countries intimidate the Security Council.

13. Yes, damn you vote. Yes, I know Florida was fucked up in 2000. Yes I know democracy isn’t perfect. Yes, George Carlin’s nihilism is right and correct. You know what? I don’t fucking care, vote anyway, it’s hell of a lot better than a country that doesn’t even provide that simple basic human expression.

14. I like Passover more than I like Easter. I say that as an atheist.

15. Did I mention that Oblivion is over rated?

16. Has anyone else noticed that the editorials on Penny Arcade have slowly become unreadable? Jesus H. Christ, put the fucking thesaurus down you nerd and just talk to me like a normal human being.

17. Yes Michael Moore lies. So does George W Bush, the left and the right have turned into cheerleaders. Make up your own god damn mind and try to do it without listening to NPR or Rush Limbaugh.

18. I love life, every time I doubt that statement, I look at my children. Whatever life is, for better or for worse, I believe it gets better with every generation. I believe I have seen visible proof of that statement.

19. To support item #18, I claim here and now, that I am a better human being than my own father. However, I also concede that one of the key reasons that I am a better human being, is my father worked hard to raise me right. It's called progress, it's called evolution. It's part of what makes life so beautiful.